“Don’t Be Like Steve”: A Practical Guide to Conflict Resolution at Work

Let’s talk about Steve.

Steve is a manager who avoids conflict like it’s a contagious disease. He lets that one team member get away with anything because he’s afraid of rocking the boat. He tells himself he's being kind — but deep down, he knows he's just scared no one will like him if he speaks up.

We’ve all worked with a Steve.
Some of us have been Steve.

But here’s the thing: conflict isn’t the problem. Avoiding it is.

Why Conflict Avoidance Hurts Teams

When we avoid conflict:

• Small issues become big ones

• Frustrations simmer into resentment

• High performers check out (or leave)

• Trust erodes
  
  

Unresolved conflict doesn’t just make things uncomfortable - it breaks down team effectiveness and culture over time.

The good news? Conflict doesn’t have to be destructive. When handled with care, it can actually strengthen relationships and build deeper trust.

5 Practical Steps to Resolve Conflict (Without the Drama)

1. Pause and Get Curious
Before jumping into action, take a breath. Ask: “What’s really going on here?”
Are you reacting to the person or the pattern? What’s the impact - and what’s the story you’re telling yourself?

2. Create Psychological Safety
People open up when they feel safe. Set the tone early:
“I want us to talk this through so we can both feel heard and supported.”
Avoid blame. Focus on connection.

3. Listen to Understand
Truly listen. Not to defend, not to win — but to understand. Reflect back what you hear:

“It sounds like you felt left out of the decision-making. Is that right?”

4. Name the Need, Not the Blame
Shift from pointing fingers to naming needs:

“I need clearer communication about timelines.”
This keeps the focus on the future instead of getting stuck in the past.

5. Co-Create the Path Forward
Ask: “What would a better way look like for both of us?”
Collaborate on a solution. Set clear next steps — and follow through.

Conflict Is a Skill — and You Can Build It

You don’t need to be a natural “people person” to handle conflict well. You need:

• A willingness to be honest

• A mindset of curiosity over control

• A few practical tools (like the ones above)
  
  

The workplace doesn’t need fewer conflicts - it needs better ones.

So, Who’s the “Steve” In Your World?

Maybe it’s your colleague. Maybe it’s your manager. Maybe it’s you.

Whoever it is, know this: avoiding hard conversations rarely leads to easier outcomes.
But approaching conflict with care, structure, and courage? That’s how strong teams are built.